and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
