The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
