Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Four minutes until I can fart!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
