why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
