Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
handjob tips. give me some.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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