what if every blade of grass was a penis?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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