There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I intend to get homeless drunk
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
