which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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