is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
