I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
