we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
