Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
