mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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