whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
