I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize