Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
