no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just google imaged poop.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
