he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
