Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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