I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
