I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
