Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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