don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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