Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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