You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
