I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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