my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize