Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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