My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize