did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
