Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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