She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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