I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
