strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
