he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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