ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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