girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think your dad took our porno
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
