Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
