Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
