id be glad to
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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