it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
