Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
