You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
