you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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