We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize