We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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