just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
