Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
