NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
