yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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