I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize