I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
