I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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