YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Come on in and take your pants off
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
