My first STD was from a foam party
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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