I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
