don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i will never coherently bang her
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
